sitting on ledge of the 6th floor
staring at the dark murky water reflecting the apparition white
it seems so real
i just have to reach for it
lean over
feel the wind grazing my hair peacefully just for a moment
hands outstretched im groping
for what i know is a mirage
so tempting
to believe that i can be saved
to believe in serenity
to believe that this murkiness would taste so sweet and pleasant on my lips
im trying to put my feet on the ground
but im sinking
im in denial
wanting to believe in this unreality just for a moment
i was stripped of my emotions
but i feel them coming back
i should jump
i want to
then...
i wont sink
i wont dream
i wont hope